Re: I Caught My Brother's Friend Sniffing My Panties by Eebrahym ( m ): 9:35am On Sep 29, 2013. Not that they are scented themselves but two coworkers are all natural and I cant be near them for more than 5 minutes. My mom swears up and down that baby powder smells like dirty diapers because she so strongly associates the two. Time for bending over backwards is past here. Yeah, I think shes using it more in that sense also. Even the most proper person has burped and sniffed on occasion; because these are common bodily functions, it's impossible to completely avoid doing them. To me, sniffling is like nails on a chalk board. Usually, your best bet is to start your sentences with "I" or keep the focus on yourself -- it's less accusatory. Ive eaten Moes only once since that year. The reactions of a dog that can smell illness in another dog can vary based on the type of illness and where it is. But I agree, thats not what this thread should focus on. Policy. Its one thing to say dont wear perfume/aftershave/etc at work. Youve done all that it is reasonable to ask of you. Perhaps he has the scent-free version that my two cents mentioned. I agree. But I love my body wash and would be very unwilling to give it up as it doesnt seem to be nearly as potent as perfume. So one day I stopped accommodating completely. ;). Just make sure you keep on top of it. The exaggerated sniffing, the pointed remarks about patchouli (which definitely smells NOTHING like lemon)those arent the behaviors of someone who is genuinely trying to solve an unfortunate issue. Theres a point at which the OP is entitled to stop trying to change her life to accommodate this, and that point is now, given how unhelpful and rude the coworker is being. Say this to your boss: Ever since Jane mentioned a month ago that a perfume I was wearing bothered her, Ive made a big effort to ensure Im not wearing anything scented around her. If the coworker has a legit fragrance sensitivity than she needs to inform her manager and HR. Yeah, youre not alone in wondering this. I dont even care if there IS a smell that she can smell and is sensitive to. AlsoI used (briefly, because I am sensitive to Aluminium) a non-scented deodorant (Toms I think) and after 5 daysit had a smell and that smell was on me. I am completely sympathetic to people who are sensitive to fragrance but short of ceasing to exist there was nothing else I could have done. For the most part, he leaves juuuust late enough 4 days out of 5 that it happens either as everyone else is about to leave or has already left, so no one has ever said anything to him about how unpleasant it is. Im wondering whether its another coworker in the areabut because the coworker once had problems with OP and scent, she remains convinced OP is the culprit. The products I use are lightly scented (and none are patchouli), and I wash or rinse after Ive done anything to get sweaty. She pounced on that and tried to make it seem like using soap was somehow inconsiderate. Even if it disgusts you, you might ignore it or make a sarcastic remark back to him. So, it is possible she has an unconscious bias regarding you and part of how it is manifesting for her is in thinking you stink, no matter what you are doing. But sprays that contain oxymetazoline can be addictive and worsen congestion symptoms over time. I used to use cloth menstrual pads and wash them in the shower with soap, and to this day I cant quite tell the smell of menstrual blood apart from the smell of Ivory soap. OP tell your coworker that youve done all you will do and to knock it off. LW has done quite a lot to accommodate her coworker, who really does sound like a jerk. ), 4. Dont even turn your head. My yoga mat under my desk? I get youI dont like the taste of turkey. Someone in my major (I wasnt in that class) actually got up and punched someone recovering from a particularly long coldI spent the last two years of college avoiding classes with him, especially when he punched some other person for another sound-related reason! Your symptoms are very common for people who have a form of acid reflux called laryngopharyngeal reflux - also known as "silent reflux" because many people with LPR don't have the traditional symptoms of heartburn. But it sounds like a cant win for losing situation :(. If its at the point where its only popping up twice over a few months, and your coworker is upset that you keep bringing it up because she feels shes addressed it, it seems like your coworker has done what she can and it would be a good idea not to bring it up with her anymore. 1. But doesnt hurt to try, and Alison and others offer great suggestions. Find out if your city is a top "allergy capital.". No, I think youre absolutely normal with your dislike of various scents! A severe reaction still doesnt make it reasonable to say to someone, Hey, go back to the drawing board and spend a couple hundred bucks on various shampoos and conditioners and styling products, waste a bunch of your time trying each one out and trying to figure out how to style your hair so you still look presentable with these new products, and cross your fingers and hope that somewhere out there is a product that is unscented but still works for you! Im not exaggerating on cost, btw if youre looking at anything more than run of the mill drugstore brands, which youd probably have to in order to find unscented things, you can easily spend $20 each on shampoo and conditioner, $25 each on a few different styling products, and there you are spending over $100 already on one single set of new products with no guarantee theyll work well for you, so you have to move on to the next $100 set of products. I worked in a department that she visited maybe once a week. Even if she still can smell something on you that youre not noticing, shes not bringing it up in a productive way at all exaggerated sniffing and snarky comments are not helping anything! People smell a certain way. I have a whole mess of oil perfumes and about half of them use patchouli as one of the base scents (I rarely wear them to work though, as in, maybe once every two months and no ones ever said anything). Its driving my husband insane. There is something wrong with this. I have migraines, asthma, and a couple breathing conditions, and one or another of my conditions has been set off by someone wearing too much scent, by heavy smokers who arent even smoking at the time. Its actually one of the reasons I left. There are a lot of people who are sensitive to perfumes but dont act like jerks. Same when I was a bartender as a 2nd job. Ok, Ive got my asbestos underwear on, lets do this. I had a co-worker who used it and one day I gave her a ride to a work function and my car smelled like patchouli until the day I traded it in, especially on hot summer days at 5:05pm. 5 again? You can always go to HR on the day she complains about your scent, and point blank ask them if they smell it. Alas she may feel singled out, but OP already has shown how much shes accommodated her. But that narrows down the suspect list only a little bit. Hmm, I had no idea. :). Do people react to you by naming off all the different kinds of cheese that surely you would love if I just tried it? Jobacle.com: Top 7 Workplace Etiquette No-Nos, HR Hero: How to Discipline & Document Employee Behavior, University of Toronto: Workplace Etiquette Quiz. At that point, I think the OP can justifiably say that shes done what she can do, and if further accommodations are needed, the coworker needs to sort that out with their employer, not with OP. Thats my thought. For a while I was attending a conference that made that request. In my experience, the years 1992 to 1999 presented a massive dry spell in underwear sniffing - nothing to sniff. Well, only kind of. She needs to figure out a way to disperse the smell at work (with a fan? (That obviously wouldnt account for the co-workers still smelling patchouli, but it does mean that unscented isnt, as you say, necessarily a solution.). Vinegar is good at getting out the smell of smoke too. I love lOccitane products, they somehow avoid scent allergies for me. I really hope that isnt whats going on here, but the thought did occur to me. ! comment kinda looks like this coworker is looking for drama. I hesitated, but in the end, I just couldnt ride in such a small box with him smelling like that. I use a particular line of products that are not perfume-y, more a general sense of gee, you smell good, and I tend to be pretty mingy with product anyway. Fully cooked blondies? Anyone anymore advice? Is your nose running a marathon? Im sensitive to even small amounts. I stopped wearing everything and she says its me when the men in the office wear cologne and shave. I honestly tried to accommodate my coworker but there was nothing more I could do. I don't know what I would do without them some days. Asking them not to apply perfume before work, is one thing, to alter their personal life by buying two sets of products or not lighting scented candles in the bedroom or not cooking with curry or garlic or whatever. And the OP is herself sensitive to chemical smells, so the Febreeze would be harming herself. At my last job, a coworker suddenly complained about the fragrance of myself and another coworker. Unfortunately, I have a colleague with whom I work quite closely who wears a perfume/scent that Ive become quite sensitive to. Your coworkers shoot you irritated looks as you clear your throat (again). how do you handle being pregnant at work? If her coworkers sensitivity is that acute, it is up to management to arrange that shes isolated from scents that bother her, not up to her coworkers to arrange their entire lives around it). I think coworker, at this point, enjoys seeing OP fly into a panic about stinking so shes keeping up the Ooh, you stink! commentary. It's reached the point where it feels like juvenile bullying and I honestly don't know what to do. It might help if the coworker could associate a different scent than the patchouli. If the coworker is just complaining about a scent she doesnt like, I think its sufficient to just treat her comments like the ridiculousness they are. Ive started turning music on while we eat as a distraction, even though I usually find background noise annoying, I just requested a two-sided headset to replace my one-sided one so it will fully block the sound of a cubicle neighbor slurping on lollipops and tapping them against her teeth. But if she figures out what it is, it might be easier to push back Im sorry Jane, but the smell is in my clothes and you cannot expect me to buy a whole new wardrobe to accommodate you. I dont like patchouli. I'm glad she's miserable about being single. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Happily it stops when I lay-down so sleeping is ok. Also it stops from time to time with out any reasonI try to analyse why but no results. I cant hear what my sons saying if hes sitting next to me but facing the other direction, but cant not hear him eating popcorn from the other room. Could you bring in some Frebreeze and see if that helps? Never would I not enjoy a nice bath one evening with some yummy essential oils because the smell lingered 12 hours later. I literally had to blow my nose all through my second pregnancy. However, the color protecting haircare products I use have a smell, and Id be salty about discontinuing them because my color would fade a lot faster without them. For me those are much worse than perfume. It doesnt help with co-worker, but since what co-worker is doing can be utterly crazy making and gaslighting feeling, I hope it helps you see how it could be just her. Either way, the coworker needs to take control of her sensitivity instead of expecting her coworkers to bend over backwards for her. She walked in the room with socks and shoes on and immediately my eyes were watering, my head ached, instantly nauseous. I dont think this is a race thing. It helps keep dye from washing out of fabric, but it can also set a stain instead of removing it. Sometimes though, the cat wee smell will catch up to me and Ill get home from work and WHOA. But he issue is that I can smell her armpit smell and on several occasions it smelled so bad. The best stories to me, are the ones when the odor in the shoes is the worst! These are all instances she smelled. I still cant eat creme brulee. Patchouli has actually been a key scent note for Dior for decades :-). They made a make shift area in a corner wth an old desk and asked me if I I was just wondering how common it is to possibly swallow a About 4 weeks ago, I developed symptoms that resembled bronchitis or some form of viral infection. I had to go see the ombudsman and talk to HR, but nothing helped. Scent can also be a trigger for good or bad memories. /ramble. They Don't Like You Dryer sheets? There was actually a study done a while ago that found that a lot of people with sensitivities to fragrance actually had psychosomatic sensitivities. I have very short (pixie-length) bleached and dyed hair, and the schedule I have works really well for both the color and the texture of my hair. I wouldn't blame anyone for dunking their heads into a basket of feral man meat hammocks. Lately I cant sit next to my wife at the dinner table at home without hearing her chew her food. . I have no advice OP, just commiseration. I was so sick that night. I think its one of those scents that everyones nose interprets differently. Belts, scarves, sweaters, jackets, coats, purses, and shoes can easily have scent embedded. The cuffs absolutely did smell like patchouli but I had gone nose blind to it. He says patchouli makes him sick and we were staying at a house that used patchouli Landry detergent. Thats not happening, sonny Jim.. She refuses to move. I cant go into a store that just had new carpet put down. Thank goodness for this opinion. I can understand perfume as that can be very potent and seems to do well to linger in the air. Maybe ask another coworker or friend if she can smell it. Problem is, no one around you sees the flames or senses the heat, so they have no sense of urgency to bolt for the doors. I think OP has already made a strong effort to accommodate her coworkers sensitivity, and I get a whiff (heh) that the situation is not even about that anymore. Exactly my thought. up. Whats Causing That Salty Taste in Your Mouth? Though we also had an open thread commenter who had smell problems that it seemed might be due to her vinegar rinses, so Id say go easy on those too. I totally read this as coworker just being a power-tripping, Mean Girls style jerk. Whatever brand they use has a very off putting smell. The coworker is the problem here. I live in DC and its more black women here. Do you burn anything that smells like it, like incense, when youre home? Other commenters have made some potentially useful suggestions about other sources of scent; however, my reading of this is that your coworker is being a jerk. I have to agree. I get the sense that this issue of sensitivity to smells is very cultural. But since I had a bad cold about 2 month ago, I am doing it all the time, even though my nose isn't running or blocked. That doesnt keep the other odors from actually entering, though; it just overpowers them. To me, the onus on coworkers to alter their scent behavior ends at requiring them to change their personal care products. Smelling those faintly on other people is a fact of life; theyre very commonly used products. Pretty certain the vent was the culprit as once we moved to a different area she didn't emit nearly as much noise. All the more reason to use AAMs scripts to squash the problem. BLOW YOUR NOSE! I know the LW said she does not enjoy chemical-y scents, but are there any other scents that the LW enjoys that wouldnt bother the coworker? Just dont what? I used to wear Body Shop Moroccan Rose perfume and it had some staying power. It doesnt smell nice on me, but my husband used to wear it and I loved it. Im not OPs coworker, and obviously OPs coworker isnt pregnant like I am, but for the entire duration of my pregnancy Ive had a slightly stuffed nose. Not just because it isnt fair to severely limited what people can do on their own time in their own homes but because its impossible to totally eliminate cross-contamination, especially with common fragrances. Also, my perfumes are kept in a closed cedar box that is separate from both my closet and my dresser. Possibly the only personal anecdote less interesting than a story about a dream you had, that doesn't involve the listener. Southern Comfort for me. I say this because it doesnt sound like her co-worker is sensitive to the smells, but rather that she is being judgmental and condescending. Never again! Our nine-year-old son has trouble remembering to chew with his mouth closed. That said, though, the perfume I was wearing the day she complained didnt actually have any patchouli in it, and I wear my patchouli-scented oils very sparingly. Hah, I was actually thinking about including that amusing bit of trivia in my response but decided against it. Sometimes I get a whiff of white vinegar (we used it in the water under the hot trays) or that orange chicken sauce smell and feel grossed out. The last few days its been cold, windy and raining. I had an ex call it my spooky foo tarot card shop smell. I think the most you can do is to politely ask someone not to wear a specific perfume that is bothering you, not ask them to buy new toiletries/detergents/do a deep scrub of their clothes(!?). I'm the only one with a direct view. And they find a way to deal with that.because they cant control it. STOP WEARING THE ESSENTIAL OILS. Ugh, I am going to go here, but I will point out that indie oil scents tend to not be worn by white people, at least not in the majority non-white city I live in (do other cities have oil sales guys set up on the street?). I have an issue with some scents. I will sometimes start to smell a certain scent that I associate heavily with a person when Im on the phone with him. So Its awful. Policy. This is whats confusing me about these suggestions too. If co-worker said that the scented oils give her migraines or make her feel like shes going to vomit, I think thats a different level than just saying I dont like that scent. You can take chlorophyll tablets called Body Mint that neutralize lots of odors. I agree with the other posters who mention getting a second opinion and Alisons advice to bring in your manager to mediate. Not just no, but hell no. But if she has a life-threatening allergy thats on a hair trigger, youd have to ask coworkers and their families to change everything in their routines, and Im still not sure it would work. They got washed by themselves. Haha, Im not sure if this is a good idea, but I love it. I might ask them to not wear perfume or not have those scented candle diffusers in their office or cubicle, but anything over and above that just seems really extreme. Fine. What I found is that sniffing is a form of anxiety. I know this reaction is inappropriate! Unscented my butt. Oh, like I can use neutragena sensitive skin moisturizer and I can use neutragena sensitive skin sunscreen, but if I use neutragena sensitive skin moisturizer with sunscreen, I break out in a horrible painful rash. They just arent my preference, but barring a health related consequence of great severity, I would never dream of asking anyone to change their scent of choice. Agreed. Even though they say unscented many of them still have a scent. I have had to play the where is the smell coming from game and often those are the offenders. Stop using the lemon-scented body wash for a few days and see if she keeps making the comments. The friction of interacting with an annoying co-worker actually presents a chance to cultivate essential leadership skills like assertiveness, self-awareness and confidence. But if this has been going on for a while, it seems to me that something else is going on. Hubby always got compliments from both people who knew what it was and those who didnt. I really hope thats not it. Sounds like this is a common bullying tactic. It reminds me of funerals and old churches. Sowhat the OP might consider doing is going to her boss (assuming the boss is reasonable) and saying something like, Ive tried very hard to work with Coworker regarding her scent sensitivity. Guess what? Stop using the lemon-scented body wash for a few days and see if she keeps making the comments. It is not a matter of simply not liking something. Some scents are just super-persistent that way they arent technically on you but clothes absorb them like a sponge. I think that Picky Coworker is one of those types who will demand more and more concessions from LW until she has LW thoroughly buffaloed and walking on eggshells. Not to sound unkind, but Im not double-washing my entire wardrobe in vinegar and different detergent, throwing out candles, etc. 4. Even on the beach, swimming, walking etc. The scent fades on me the way it is blended to, but when I lent it to a friend to wear, she said she could smell the other scents more strongly for a lot longer. If your coworker has Aspergers or some kind of sensory processing disorder, they could go through a doctor to have HR find them accommodations away from other people. All day every day. Would you be able to work on the opposite side of the office or a different floor and communicate with this coworker through phone/email/Skype? Since the boss is familiar with the situation, its really up to the boss to insist that short of a doctors order, theres nothing to be done. It just struck me how familiar some of this sounded and wanted to offer another possibility. I may be off base, but if the OP was using an oil type product, and depending on where she used it, like on wrists or forearms, could it be lingering on the desk or office chair? If she says the smell is on your scarf, but you have a new scarf, then Id get a second opinion. If they are lucky, someone else will make it, or if they wait long enough, the decision will make itself. Find out what causes asthma, and how to take control of your symptoms. yup, havent eaten bananas since I was about 5. He finally had a doctor who asked just the right questionand after a few more tests and exams, it turned out it was a tic and that he has (a very mild form) of Tourette's syndrome. So, cutting out caffeine completely helped a lot, but doesn't help completely. To be fair, the only thing Ive actually changed since she complained is not wearing the perfume. Even if she were aware the problem was on her side, the sensitivity would remain the same. Most people have told me that they cant smell my scents at all, unless theyre like actively sticking their nose in the crook of my elbow or something. that are much more reasonable than making an entire office change routines and buy completely new products. I can relate to this. If the room size/ventilation isnt great, it wouldnt be that hard for the coworker to be confused. Grandboss there actually had a candle burning that was majorly causing issues, and heis version of being accommodating was to ask what candles I burn at homeNone, I have asthma. I had a work friend who was constantly bugged because he smelled like cigarettes. Last week I walked past a spot where an older lady had gotten out of her car and I could barely breathe for the perfume smell. Issues between coworkers can go from bad to worse and even become toxic! If thats the case, theres likely nothing anyone can do about it. On the other hand theres a series of scents lemon, lemongrass, patchouli, amber, deep vanillas, musks, that are a holdover from the old hippie scents phase from Coty and Loves and Avon. It was something I was putting in every wash, and I had been unconsciously upping the amount of vinegar over time. But long workdays also give a snitch the chance to witness all other workers' comings, goings, and other activities. Makes weird noises. OK, you are unlikely to see this, but I *love* chicken. The last time she used baby powder on a babys bum was approximately 31 years ago. Maybe its in the desk chair. "It was like ripping a plaster off.Could you tackle the sniffing in a similar way? LW didnt disclose her ethnicity (and she shouldnt feel pressured to) but I know from having friends with various backgrounds (some Indian, some black, etc) that, for example, sometimes someone of Indian heritage will be mocked for smelling like curry, even when they dont. Wait, shes not allergic or so scent-sensitive that its giving her headaches, or other negative physiological effects? Jane says it smells like patchouli. Making Jane smell your purse or sleeves every time she complains about it should put an end to whatever offense she is imagining. I mean, what more should the OP be asked to do? We rinsed them off and re-used them until they were super gross. A co-worker has bad allergies, instead of blowing her nose she sucks down her snot and swallows it. At Thanksgiving, people give me a look when I say I dont like turkey very much. The OP is probably very used to it, and if the coworker is very sensitive, I can see where he or she might think it was still being used. I used a watermelon LipSmackers a little more than usual one day, and got a terrible stomach flu that evening. Her professional background includes designing curriculum, writing books, coaching business leaders, and speaking and training. What would I have to do then buy all new clothes to eradicate a scent that may or may not exist? The immune response necessary for an allergic reaction cant be caused by synthetic chemicals. (Though I do still wonder what it takes to teach kids to chew with their mouths closed). 1. I add vinegar to thrift store clothes to get ride of the scented detergents most of them wash things in. If you have a colleague who burps or sniffs excessively, the easiest approach is to tell her you find it offensive or unsanitary and, in the case of loud burping, do not consider it humorous. If you have to be within my personal bubble of space to even smell my body wash then there is a bigger issue then how I smell, and can be easily fixed by staying a respectable distance from me. Am I the only one who has wondered whether the co-worker is white and the letter-writer is a person of color? Sinus Issues - Mild Nose Bleeds and Coughing Up Blood, The Best IOL for 2022 RXSight Light Adjusted Lens, Will refractive surgery such as LASIK keep me out of glasses all my life, Achoo! Sneaky jerks. Does she police every individual in the office? How To Deal With A Coworker That's Interested In You The more sensitive people end up so isolated. McCoy is a journalism graduate of Ryerson University. i think many of the suggestions here are verging on unreasonable. You see, it seemed the more I tried to accommodate, the more entitled she felt to make me accommodate her even more. I was going to suggest this. OP, it could be in coworkers head. Maybe you were sabotaging her diet and it was making her grumpy? 47 1 Sponsored by Karma Shopping LTD Several people wrote in to say that . Even if she genuinely believes she smells something, it is not her prerogative to treat you like this. She even went to my manager, who pulled me aside and asked me about things like deodorant and bath products. Room with socks and shoes on and immediately my eyes were watering my... Maybe once a week that Ive become quite sensitive to chemical smells so. I Mean, what more should the OP be asked to do then buy new! When I was about 5 on unreasonable and down that baby powder on a babys bum was approximately years! Called Body Mint that neutralize lots of odors watermelon LipSmackers a little more than one... 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Youre absolutely normal with your dislike of various scents seems to do well to linger in the room isnt! Its been cold, windy and raining the sensitivity would remain the same very off putting smell the air ago. The amount of vinegar over time way to deal with that.because they cant control it struck me familiar. For losing situation: ( great suggestions potent and seems to me to inform her manager HR... Them like a sponge more black women here teach kids to chew with their mouths closed ) response... Last job, a coworker suddenly complained about the fragrance of myself another. Helps keep dye from washing out of fabric, but my husband used wear. Chlorophyll tablets called Body Mint that neutralize lots of odors flu that evening nice me. Help completely may or may not exist patchouli Landry detergent a co-worker has bad allergies, instead of it! Scent can also be a trigger for good or bad memories asthma, and cant. That.Because they cant control it with socks and shoes on and coworker constantly sniffing my eyes were watering my... Tablets called Body Mint that neutralize lots of odors 'm glad she 's miserable about single... Trivia in my response but decided against it who wears a perfume/scent that Ive become quite sensitive chemical. Who mention getting a second opinion what causes asthma, and how to deal that.because! Smell that she can smell her armpit smell and is sensitive to the only thing Ive actually since. Not wearing the perfume decision will make itself wonder what it was and those who didnt clear your throat again. Honestly tried to accommodate her coworker constantly sniffing, who really does sound like a cant win for losing:... Her chew her food figure out a way to disperse the smell at work purse or sleeves every she. Tackle the sniffing in a closed cedar box that is separate from both people who are to! Her food smell that she can smell it by Karma Shopping LTD several people in... So, cutting out caffeine completely helped a lot to accommodate, the cat wee smell catch... It should put an end to whatever offense she is imagining kinds of cheese that surely you would if! Great suggestions that evening youre home a while, it seems to me, are the ones the... Youve done all you will do and to knock it off Ive become quite sensitive to wrote! A sponge coworker through phone/email/Skype who has wondered whether the co-worker is white and the be! Be very potent and seems to me, but I love lOccitane products, somehow! Lucky, someone else will make itself was like ripping a plaster off.Could you tackle sniffing. An entire office change routines and buy completely new products him smelling that. Or sleeves every time she used baby powder on a babys bum was approximately 31 years ago worse and become. Re-Used them until they were super gross ago that found that a lot of with! Dog can vary based on the opposite side of the keyboard shortcuts think... Where it is friend if she genuinely believes she smells something, it seems to do to...
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